One Set To Love

Scene 5 – Back to real time

 

Enter K backwards, calling for J

 

K : Jessica, I say, Jessy you old goat, where the devil are you?! Ah, Georgey, I see you have the champers.

G : Yes, Jessy brought it out a few moments ago.

K : Really? Then….cheers

G : Cheers

K : To the good old days.

G : The good old days.

 

They drink.

 

K : You know, Georgey, if you wouldn’t mind awfully, perhaps you could explain how it all began.

G : How what began?

K : You know what, old boy.

G : Oh that. Are you sure you want to hear it?

K : Yes, I’ll grit my teeth. Stiff upper lip and all that.

G : Well if you’re sure.

K : Oh I’m sure Georgey.

G : Right, well, let me see. It all began a few days after the ball. As I recall the three of us had arranged to go for a picnic and boating in the park. Now as I recall you’d gone to visit your great aunt Cybil in Dorchester and on the way back your carriage shod a wheel….

K : I remember that day. (echo or repeat)

 

Flashback . Enter A and G. A is in joyous spirits.

 

A : Oh this is simply delightful George.

G : Here’s a good spot.

A : Perfect.

 

They sit

 

G : I can’t think what’s keeping Kenneth.

A : He’s never normally late. Daddy’s forever praising his punctuality.

G : Yes, he’s normally a very reliable chap.

A : I say, Georgey, this is probably a good time to explain my behaviour at the ball the other night. I know I didn’t say very much. You see, all evening I had these ghastly men approaching me with their empty flattery and awful presents. (Imitating Dev) ‘It’s been in the family for twelve generations’. Then you appeared…

G : With Kenneth.

A : Well, yes, and Kenneth. You looked so dashing…

G : And Kenneth..

A : Well, yes, and Kenneth. Anyway I was somewhat lost for words.

G : I can’t think for the life of me where Kenneth could be. Terribly unlike him.

A : Isn’t  that his boat there?

G : Yes, that’s Kenneth’s boat.

A : Oh do let’s go out now. If he arrives he can wave at us from the bank and we can row back.

G : Oh no, I think we should wait for Kenneth.

A : Oh don’t be a spoil-sport Georgey, live a little.

G : Well…

K : Oh come on Gergey!

G : I suppose we could push the boat out a little.

 

A celebrates with manly vigour. They get on the boat.

 

A : Oh for heaven’s sake forget about Kenneth, let’s get rowing.

G : Now let me see, I haven’t done this for years.

A : I’m sure you’ll be just fine. The water’s so clear and clean. (Splashes G)

G : No, stop it. (A splashes G again). No, stop it. (Again) No, STOP IT!

A : I’ve never worked out what that huge tree is over there in the distance.

G : Oh yes, that’s a great oak.

A : And what about the one next to it?

G : Oh yes, that’s a sycamore tree.

A : Oh you are clever Georgey. What about that old stone building with a big cross on top?

G : That’s a church. – there’s been a place of worship there since Saxon times. In fact several generations of my own family have….

A : Oh no! Oh no! I’ve fallen overboard! Help, Georgey, help!

G : Oh good heavens! Somebody help. Quick!

A : I can’t swim!

G : Swim! Oh no, you just said you can’t. Here, wrap your hands around my pole!

A : I’d love to!

G: No, grab the bloody oar!  (Falls in again..?)

 

G pulls A to safety.

G revives A.

 

G : Right, let’s get you out of that dress…..I mean let’s get you back to dry land and out of those wet clothes.

 

They get back to dry land.

 

G : Now over there is a pavilion where you can change. Right next door there’s a little tea room where you can warm yoursef up with a nice hot mug of cocoa.

A : Oh what will Kenneth say?

G : Never mind about that. You get warm and I’ll moor the boat.

 

Ent K,  full of the joys of spring.

 

K : Ah, look at this – a glorious day, the park, the lake, the boat, the picnic, you Georgey, me Kenneth, so sorry I’m late old boy....where the devil is Anna?

G : She’s in the pavilion taking off her dirty wet dress.

K : I’m sorry, for a moment there I thought you said she’s in the pavilion taking off her dirty wet dress.

G : I did.

K : What?

G : It smells.

K : It smells?!

G : It stinks.

K : It stinks?! What in God’s name are you talking about?

G : She fell in.

K : She fell in what?

G : The water.

K : The water?

G : Yes.

K : How?

G : Off the boat.

K : What boat?

G : Your boat.

K : My boat?

G : Yes, your boat.

K : She was on my boat?

G : Yes.

K : With whom?

G : With me.

K : With you?

G : Yes, then she fell in.

K : She fell in!

G : Yes, she was soaking wet.

K : Well she would be wouldn’t she!

G : Yes, she fell in and I saved her.

K : You saved her?!

G : Yes.

K : Quite the hero aren’t we?

G : We?

K : No, you.

G : Who me?

K : Yes, you.

G : No need for that tone old boy. What was I supposed to do, let her drown? (echo/ repeat)

 

 Back to present

 

K : Yes, I remember that day.

G : And that’s how it all began, Kenneth.

K : Thank you, Georgey

G : I mean it wasn’t love at first sight or anything.

K : Well it wasn’t far off it – you were married within the week!

G : Well it was all a bit of a rollercoaster. Things just snowballed and then…

K : Do you know Georgey I’m suddenly a little light-headed – I think I’m going to take some air. I’ll be right back.

G : Kenneth old boy…

K : No no, I’ll be fine, really. If you need anything just call for Jessica.

 

K exits. Enter J

 

J : Upset him already have you Master Georgey? You’ve only been here a day!

G : I beg your pardon Jessica! Have you taken leave of your senses? I urge you to remember your place!

J : No Sir, I’m sorry Sir but I’m gonna say my piece and like it or not you’ll have to sit there and listen!

G : How dare you! Right, I’m going to get Kenneth in here and he can reprimand you himself. Kenneth! Kenneth! (On way to exit)

J : You can shout as much as you like Sir, but I guarantee you he won’t be coming in here. Look, I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn, Sir. It’s just that I’ve lived with my master’s suffering these past ten years….ten long years, ten long lonely…

G : Yes alright, Jessica, we’ve all suffered.

J : But not like him, Sir. He’s been to hell and back…via Nairobi.

G : Yes I know Jessica – Lumpopo, Lady Bimbaboo, smouldering pipe.

J : All I’m saying Sir is go easy with him. He’s a man on the edge. Now can I get you some brandy Sir?

G : No thank you Jessica, that will be all.

J : Very good Sir…(mumbles more apologies on way out) My apologies again Sir, it’s just that I do worry about him, he’s such a sensitive soul……

 

Enter K

 

G : Better?

K : Yes, thank you.You know the great irony is that her father always had a bit of a soft spot for me.

G : Really?

K : Oh yes. I’ll never forget the time when I was summoned to the library…..(echo/repeat)

 

Scene 6 - Flashback

 

Enter K

 

K : So I should just wait here should I? You see I’m sure…-….door crashes shut……Hello, hello, is anybody here? It’s Kenneth, Sir…..Kenneth.

 

Goes to sit down

 

Dad (off) : No, no don’t sit down! This won’t take long! There’s obviously been some sort of confusion. It’s quite possibly my fault. Perhaps I haven’t been clear with you. But let me assure you I’m about to be very clear with you now.

 

D appears

 

D : Ahh, young Kenneth, how about it?!

K : How about what Sir?

D : When are you going to do it?

K : Do what Sir?

D : Come on Kenneth, we’re both men of the world!

K : Are we Sir?

D : Of course we are! Stop dilly-dallying! Propose man!

K : Sir will you marry me?

D : Not me you fool! My daughter Anna.

K : Yes Sir, of course Sir.

D : I saw you dancing together at the ball.

K : Yes, I’m very sorry about the table-cloth Sir. We got rather carried away.

D : No matter. I saw the chemistry. We all did. You were made for each other.

K : Well, actually Sir…

D : There’s no going back now, Kenneth. She’s beautiful and she’ll make you a wonderful wife. And one day, all this will be yours. But remember, she’s my only daughter – harm one hair on her pretty little head and I shall string you up by your testicles, tear your skin off and roll you in salt!

K : Thank you Sir!

D : You know Kenneth, I may be losing a daughter but I’m gaining a son.. I’ve always wanted a son, Kenneth. Someone I can depend on.

K : I’m your man Sir.

D : I’m very fond of you Kenneth, you remind me of myself at your age…punctual, keen, charming, damned handsome…..but remember – she’s my only daughter, harm one hair on her pretty little head…

K : Yes I remember Sir – the testicles the skin, the salt…

D : Good luck Kenneth. (D’s mad laugh)

(2005. december 01.)